How to make change happen

One of the best books I’ve read on change is Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard. The authors do a great job explaining the psychology related to change; the metaphor they use for the rational and emotional parts of our brains is both entertaining and effective. I’m an information person, so I like having a big picture view of change when I attempt to make small changes in my life happen. If you’re more of a cut to the chase type, here are some concrete steps you can take today to make change happen, or revise how you’re approaching that New Year’s resolution that may be slipping away from you.

Identify the change you want to make

If your brain goes vague, steer it to specifics. “Eat better” becomes “Eat more veggies and less junk food. Cook at home at least three nights a week.” “Create more art” becomes “Create art on Saturdays for at least three hours.” “Watch less t.v.” becomes “Keep the t.v. off after 7pm” or “T.V. free Tuesdays.” “Be more social” becomes “Make plans with friends at least once a month.” And so on.

Adjust your environment to support the change you want

In the “Eat more veggies and less junk food” example, this means not buying junk food and having it in the house, which probably means going to the grocery store after you’ve eaten so you’re not hangrily making impulse decisions and before you know it, the cart is full of Doritos and soda pop.

For the creating art example, a dedicated physical space is ideal, but if that’s not possible, a ritual (like lighting a candle or listening to music) that signifies you’re transforming the space works. Getting in the zone requires disconnecting from the world, so silence your phone and avoid the temptation to hop on the internet.

Celebrate small successes, frame failure as necessary

High five yourself in the grocery store when you fill your cart with veggies, nevermind the looks you get, haters gonna hate. Pat yourself on the back for the environmental adjustments you make, it’s not cheesy you’re worth it.

Failure is part of life, so embrace it, learn from it, and move on. The thing about failure is when we try to avoid it or deny it, it manages to stick around. When we embrace it and recognize it, it goes away on its own. Kind of like campfire smoke.

The Friday posts this month are all about making requests; requesting change from ourselves can be uncomfortable because turning the ol’ eye inward and being honest with ourselves takes that quiet courage you know I’m a fan of.

Shaping up for summer

I’ve been feeling blah about my eating and exercise habits during the past several months; so last Sunday during my kickball game when I was running the bases and felt more jiggly than normal, I decided it was time to come up with a plan of action.

I completed week one of shaping up today. For the next month I’m going to complete these low-intensity physical activities to help make me feel less jiggly and more toned. Who knows though, the jiggle may be here to stay—I am 30 years old after all.

Yes, that’s right. I’m 30 and play kickball. You didn’t just misread anything.

The plan—I'll write down the date each time I complete the listed exercises.

 

It’s not just a night, it’s DATE NIGHT

That which we call a “date,” by any other name, would be as special—right? Wrong.

Although I’m not a huge fan of when individuals are defined only by a name or title, I see “date nights” as being different—especially when you are in a long-term relationship. It takes creativity to keep love feeling fresh. Stale bread is gross, stale relationships are even worse.

Instead of a trip to Third Tuesday at Buntport Theater being just another night, when you say, “Hey! It’s date night,” everything changes (if you are mindful about it). When you call it “date night,” it’s more likely that feelings of giddy beginnings can be conjured up. When you call it, “date night,” there’s an unspoken understanding that both parties involved will be on their best behavior, maybe even get a little fancied up. Think about business attire and why you don’t wear pajamas to the office. For the record, much of my work is remote and although I could wear sweats all day, I dress the part for productivity when I’m doing work. I’ve heard of those people who can work in their pj’s and have to say, I’m not one of them. I digress.

Date night. It’s something that a number of Power Year pledges have noted as a focus for them. It’s important. Get gussied up, be creative with your relationship, have fun, make love happen.

Tight budget? Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Remember how fun it can be to actually walk through a record or book store and browse (as opposed to surfing the web)? Go on a thrift store hunt together on the weekend, estate sale hopping. Free day at the museum, zoo, or if you live in Denver, ride the 15 down Colfax for a mile and you and your date will have plenty to talk about.

 

 

Deadline driven creativity

Remember the second rule that I followed during my Power Year?

You must complete a different personal project each month. Your deadline is the 29th. Always.

This is the rule that led to the widest array of opportunities and surprising outcomes.  Sometimes I didn’t have a clue what my project was going to be until the 28th. And then, without fail, something would present itself. It always does. It’s just a matter of whether you’re paying attention or not. Well, that, and once something does present itself, your willingness to hop on to the idea and ride it. Having the monthly deadline of the 29th helped me practice keeping my eyes and ears open for potential projects.

It was difficult at first, and still is sometimes, to take promises to myself as seriously as promises to others. BUT, like anything else, practice helps. After completing my Power Year of personal projects, I now use the 29th of the month, every so often, to kick me into gear to do any random thing that I’ve been too lazy to cross off the ol’ list during the rest of the month. It works, even though my Power Year is over.

We are all capable of dedication and focus; my deadline driven Power Year taught me this.